GUEST COLUMN: A former PWBTS columnist and professional musician gives his thoughts on Kid Rock's induction into WWE Hall of Fame (language NSFW)

Posted on 3/13/118 by Bob Magee

A PROFESSIONAL MUSICIAN AND FORMER PRO WRESTLING COLUMNIST
SHOOTS ON KID ROCKS WWE HOF INDUCTION

Did I just hear right today? The WWE is going to induct Kid
Rock into their Hall of Fame as their token celebrity
inductee this year? For Christs sake, what the actual fuck
is the reasoning and logic behind this move? What did this
opportunistic, no-talent, trend-hopping charlatan of a
recording artist do with the WWE to merit such an
opportunity in the first place?

Letting WWE Entertainment use his song American Badass
(Hey, kids, watch me sample Metallicas Sad But True for
the token newsong on a stopgap compilation CD of my
pre-Bawitaba material!) as the Undertakers entrance
music? Doing an appearance on Monday Night Raw to play the
song in a cross-promotional gimmick? Doing a shitty techno
cover of ZZ Tops Legs for a WWE compilation CD that did
no favors for either ZZ Top (not counting an advance payment
on mechanical royalties) or techno music?

Am I missing anything else? Surely Im not the only one that
has noticed that for his entiremusical career, Kid Rock
went from a goofy-looking white rapper trying to keep his
Caucasian hair in a KidnPlay hairdo while doing half-assed
novelty rap for Jive Records (and sucking up financial
resources better saved for the more talented hip-hop artists
on Jives roster at the time, especially A Tribe Called
Quest and Too $hort), to riding the rap-metal/nu metal wave
with hisbreakthrough hits Bawitabaand Cowboy, to
trying to be a modern day classic rock revivalist
(thankfully, his terrible cover of Bad Companys Feel Like
Making Love tanked), to riding the brastrap of Sheryl Crow
in order to parlay his last major visit to the Billboard Hot
100 singles chart, to trying to ride the bro-country wave
alongside the likes of Luke Bryan (the less said about that,
the better)...If contributing theme songs was his main
qualification to WWE culture, why isnt Motorhead in the WWE
Hall Of Fame?

After all, Motorhead and Triple H helped each other get over
in more ways than one, and Lemmy and Triple H became close
friends. Did Trips make the suggestion only to get turned
down by his in-laws? Hell, why not any of the other
recording artists that had theme songs commissioned by the
WWE over the past twenty-five years? Should any of them be
enshrined? A lot of people who also found the idea of Kid
Rock getting a WWE HOF spot repugnant asked, Why not Insane
Clown Posse instead?

Hell, ICP lifelong pro wrestling aficionados who,
according to their backstory, first met at WrestleMania III
did angles in all three of the major promotions, starting
with ECWs second ever pay-per-view Living Dangerously 1997,
before going over to the WWF and then WCW for brief spells
even actually getting into the ring in the latter promotion
before realizing, the morning after Shaggy 2 Dope did a fall
off of Mike Awesomes Partridge Family bus that they were
better off being bookers in their own promotion when they
werent being working musicians! If any white rap-rock act
is worthy ofbeing in the HOF, its ICP. Besides, as Bob
Magee pointed out at this site a couple of times, Terry Funk
told him that ICP were very smart businessmen.

But if youre going to induct a musician into the WWE Hall
Of Fame, shouldnt it be someone who made a truly positive
contribution to professional wrestling? Someone who
popularized the sport/art form into the mainstream, a decade
or so before the nWo and the Attitude Era? Someone who
brought pro wrestling out of the shadows of late night
weekend television and the occasional telecast Madison
Square Garden or Philadelphia Spectrum house show? Someone
whose participation in the WWF ended up semi-directly into
the creation of WrestleMania in the first place?

Ill be blunt. Why the fuck isnt Cyndi Lauper already in
the WWE Hall Of Fame? Its not an honor she needs when she
wrote and recorded Time After Time and released it as the
second single from her first solo album, that song ended up
becoming a new standard (thanks to jazz icon Miles Davis
opening the floodgates with his inaugural cover of the song)
in the Great American Songbook, a song covered almost as
much as The BeatlesYesterday at this point in time.

That songs mechanical and performance royalties, which have
enabled her to make the music she wants to make, rather than
the music her record company wanted her to make ever since,
will be paying her grandchildrens grandchildrens bills
down the line, for Christs sakes! She doesnt need to be
inducted into the WWE HOF. But she deserves the honor a
whole hell of a lot more than a talentless putz like Kid
Rock.

CJ Marsicano, presently a professional musician and
songwriter with his own alternative rock band Insomnia
Station, founded one of the earliest online pro-wrestling
newsletters in 1997 with The Outsider Edge, has been a
contributing writer for PWBTS and Scoops Central, and
operated the web presence of ECW Original Queen Of Extreme
Francine Fournier between 1997 and 2000. This is the first
column about professional wrestling that hes written since
retiring his column Breaking Kayfabe in 2003. He can be
found at www.cjmarsicano.me, on Facebook with his band
Insomnia Station at
www.facebook.com/InsomniaStationOfficial, and on Twitter and
Instagram at @CJMarsicano
















































































































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