Acero8217s WWE RAW Review 8.2.21

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OH YEAH, THIS IS A WRESTLING SITE, ISNT IT?

Its Mondayyou know what that means.


Welcome everyone to RAW!

Before we get to RAW, I wanna brag a little! Look who I got to see!!!

Anyway, Lashley and MVP come out to talk about Goldberg. MVP says Lashley is larger than life, a monster. MVP says if Lashley accepts Goldbergs challenge, it could very well be the final match of his storied career, so he wants to ask Goldberg if he wants to be remembered as a champion, or as a casualty?

This gets the goat of Goldberg, and out he comes, chewin bubble gum and punchin air.

Lashley puts his shades on, because he cant see Goldberg. Goldy tells Lashley he should be worried about losing the title. This causes Lashley to remove his glasses. Its serious, now.

Goldberg says MVP is scared, and Lashley looks scared. Goldberg knows hes a high level athlete, a gladiator. GOLDBERG chant, but Lashley wants him to look at him. BUT, says Goldberg, Lashley still questions yourself. He shows weakness. So, hahahaha, you think youre up for the challenge, because the first time Lashley saw him walking down the ramp, Lashley thought Goldberg was his victim the next gladiator walking down to his coliseum. This is Chicago, though, and they can smell fear a mile away, and Lashley either crapped his pants or is scared out of his mind. He doesnt care if hes 105, hes Goldberg, and he lives by the spear.

This is, quite possibly, the longest Goldberg ever took to get to the terms, Youre Next.

Theres some kid in the front row that looks like Tazs son, Hook. Goldberg gives him some dap. MVP points this kid out, and Lashley heads out of the ring to get in the kids face. MVP tells the kid that Lashley will end the kids fathers career. This will be his last mtch; its done.

This brings Goldberg back out to spear MVP. The crowd is pretty vocally happy about this.


Match 1: Drew McIntyre vs Veer and Shanky

The tall one starts off with Drew, cornering him and hitting some right hands. Drew chops him, then hits a right to the face. Shanky with a clothesline and a cover for 1NO! Shanks sends Drew into the corner tand tags in Veer, who hits the corner with a splash as the first chants of CM Punk of the night are heard. A cover doesnt even get one from Veer. Drew with a clothesline, again. Drew hits a third, knocking Veer down. Belly to belly to Veer. Neckbreaker. Drew kips up.

Drew wants the Claymore. He waits, but Shanky has the boot. In comes Jinder with a chair, and thats a DQ.

Winner: Drew McIntyre via DQ
-yawn-
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:13

Drew stands, cornered, as Jinder, Shanky, and Veer each have a chair. Drew leaves the ring and grabs his swordlol. Ok. He slashes at the swinging chair from Jinder, knocks Veer out of the ring, then points the tip of his sword to Shanky, making him strongly reconsider. He drops the chair as Drew points his sword. He looks to swing it, and Shanky leaves, as the crowd cheers.

Jinder and his homies are leaving the arena, saying Drew is a mad man, sayin Karma will come around for Drew.

KHARMA TO MAKE HER RETURN!

Backstage, Nia, her perm, and Shayna say that if we are shocked by what we just saw, wait till we see what she does to Rhea Ripley

AFTER A BREAK, Drew walks backstage with his sword. He gets run up on by the interviewer, and Drew says he didnt finish the job, he only threatened, and Chicago really wanted him to finish the job. He loves that Jinder gets away every week, he knows whats coming. Jinder can pick the hospital, the graveyard, or Angela. Waitwouldnt Angela.hold onhuh?


Match 2: Rhea Ripley vs Nia Jax

Headbutt from Nia knocks Rhea on her ass. A hard whip to the corner sends Rhea shoulderfirst into the corner. Nia on the apron, runs and SMASHES RHEAS HEAD INTO THE POST WITH HER HIP!!! Jesus. Nia shoves Rhea, misses a right hand, Rhea side steps pumphandle, but Nia hits a hard elbow to the face! Nia sends Rhea into the post again. Nia goes for the hip attack again, but Rhea dodges and Nia falls to the outside. Rhea with a cannonball off the apron, but Nia moves and Rhea hits Shayna! Nia grabs Rhea, Samoan Drop against the barricade!

Back from a break, and Rhea punches Nia across the chest, again, a clothesline, another short one, another but Nia dodges, so Rhea attacks the back. Rhea bounces of the ropes and hits a hurricanrana, sending Nia into the corner. Rhea up, Nia struggling, Rhea rushes her, gets esnt over the top rope, High kick to Nia. Dropkick to Nia! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Nia looks for a powerbomb, but Rhea holds on, slinks over, Nia drops on her ass. Nia is, seemingly, covered in blood. Nia smashes her against the ropes, hits the ropes. Leg drop to Rhea. Cover for 1..2.. NO!!! Nia: Make me bleed my own blood?

Nia goes for a Riptide, Shayna distracts, Nia is distracted, rollup for 1..23!!!!

Winner: Rhea Ripley
The forever and always devastating ROLLUP strikes again!
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 8:04

Nia and Shayna argue in the ring. Shayna removes her jacket. Nias face is still half-covered in blood. Shayna says shes been keeping this team together. Shayna leaves the ring.

In rolls Rhea to hit Nia across the face with a high kick then a RIPTIDE!!!!!!

Nice.


Match 3: Mustafa Ali and Mansoor vs T-Bar and Mace

Mace starts by murdering Ali on the outside then T-Bar flies off the top rope with an elbow drop to Mansoor. He covers for 1..2..NO!!!! A Razors Edge attempt, it looks like, but Mansoor floats off and hits an enziguri. Ali on the apron. Tag to Ali, he runs in, send Mace off the apron, kick to T-Bar. He dodges a right, high kik, roll through into the ring and hits a neckbreaker. Ali hits the ropes, Suicide dive, Mansoor hits one on Mace at the same time! Ali is impressed! He gets shoved by T-Bar, T-Bar sends Ali nack into the ring. T-Bar to the apron. He kicks Mansoor down, Ali uses the distraction to hit a sick ass DDT to T-Bar. He calls Mansoor to get on the apron. Tag and Mansoor runs in, hrabs the leg of T-Bar, Ali t othe top rope, T-Bar kicks Mansoor, Ali tumbles off the corner. Mansoor heads to the top rope instead.

Mace on the apron, T-Bar pulls his foot out, he lands on his back, then T-Bar kicks him in the chest. Big Boot from T-Bar. Cover for 1..2..3!!!

Winners: T-Bar and Mace
We havent seen a hometown loss in quite some time. The match was short as all hell, but was fun for what it was worth.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:38

Ali rushes in the ring to berate Mansoor, but T-Bar and Mace are in the ring to turn him around and hit a double chokeslam.

Backstage, Nikki is.running back and forth about six feet.

CHARLOTTE FLAIR is here when we return, saying she woke up to a headline about Simone Biles. This made her think, why would the greatest of all time not want to go for the gold. She learned later that it was due to mental health. Two weeks ago, Charlotte defeated Rhea, and the next night, Nikki cashed in her MitB contract and stole the title. Charlotte claims she will have her own nervous breakdown soon. She is the most decorated woman in the history of this business. She claims cashing in the contract is cowardly. It is theft, and since the inception of the MitB, she has been cashed in on three times. So she asked for a one-on-one to show her superiority out of all of us who are inspired by Nikki. Anything goes, tonight.

Nikki rushes into the ring with a chair and smacks Charlotte in the back! Lol.

Not really superhero-ish

This show is so bad, Ive resorted to recapping the commercials:

Cheese melts in lapsed time to a crisp brown as a voice actor that is either John Leguizamo, or someone desperately trying to be him speaks off beat to a Jack Harlow song, telling us the recipe for this wonderful piece of “Italian” culinary art. We see a pizza cutter Nick Gage would be proud of slice across the crisp, cheesy outside of this meat pocket, split in half like the hearts of a thousand italians as it dips slowly into that buttery garlic shot that smells artificial but doesn’t stop us from eating it at all.
Finally, the question that has nothing to do with anything asks, “What’s Poppin.”

BACKSTAGE, Eva says no one cares about Natalyas injury. They should be more concerned about the smear campaign that Alexa and her doll has one. Evalution has accomplished so much, look at Piper. She was probably living on a farm or something. Look at her now.

I really love.
That every woman.
Cuts promos.
Just.
Like This.


Match 4: Tamina vs Piper Niven

Tamina is upset, so they lock up. Another lockup and Piper gets a side headlock. Whip to the ropes, Piper shoulder tackles, Tamina fires back with her on, dropping Piper. Splash in the corner. Tamina rushes the corner, hits a hip attack, drags Piper away from the corner and goes to the top rope. Eva Marie on the apron to distract. Tamina shouts at her, then walks slowly over to her till Piper grabs Tamina and slams her head into the post. Right hand to the gut. Piper to the apron.

They trade some rights, Tamina gets the upper one, hits a takedown. Piper back up. Back elbow. Superkick, but Piper catches it and kicks Tamina with a kick.

Crossbody, but Tamina ducks it. SAMOAN DROP! Pin for 1..23!!!

Winner: Tamina
They are attempting o create a story where Eva Marie called for the crossbody,thus causing the loss, but Im not interested.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 3:50

Alexa is on the tron. She calls Eva Marie the loser of this match.

BACKSTAGE, Priest runs into Riddle and his new scooter. Hes ready for Omos because hes got Orton running through his veins.

Priest admits to going to Lollapalooza.

Priest says he isnt worried about MizTV.

WE COME BACK live where commentary reminds us who Priest is.

Morrison drops some puns. Miz asks some rhetorical questions.

Priest calls them out of their mind. He tells them that Sheamus was medically cleared to wrestle. Hell give Sheamus credit he showed up and fought. Unlike these two clowns. Does anyone actually know whats wrong with Mizs knee? Will he ever wrestle again? Is it an injury to his legs or is there something else that could be wronglike maybe his balls?

Miz says hes never been injured, but has one match with Priest, and he gets injured. If he wasnt in this chair, hed smack the taste out of his mouth.

Priest goes to his face and says, Do it.

He says hes run into so many people like Miz, back at the club.

Morrison has his drip stick, ready to squirt. He is disrespecting two legends. Kids everywhere want to be half as cool as these guys. Priest says there isnt one kid on this planet to play second fiddle, right Johnny Sidekick? And no one wants to grow up to be a loud mouth jackass who will use anyone to get ahead, including his best friend.

Miz tells him to watch his mouth, or else.

Morrison tries to attack, Priest sends Morrison to the outside, then corners Miz and squirts him with a bunch of drip sticks or whatever the fuck theyre called.


Match 5: Damien Priest vs John Morrison

Priest stomps Morrison out of the corner to start, then rushes him with a back elbow. He grabs the head, locks it up, goes for a suplex, Morrison floats over, priest floats over the top rope and kicks Morrison. He flies back into the ring with a leg lariat and a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Morrison floats over Priest then kicks, kicks again, another to the head. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Morrison beats Priest down with some elbows, then locks the head. Morrison floats over the back, locks the arm with his leg, pulls back for a submission, posing for a bit, but Priest hits him with a knee. Another. Morrison stands, kicks, but gets hit with an elbow, kick, another, right, Morrison off the ropes. Clothesline sends Morrison down. Priest to the top rope. Miz squirts Priest and Morrisno takes advantage. Elbow from Priest. Foremans from Morrison, he back flips over the top rope and drops Priest, which isnt as cool as they sell it to be. Morrison tries for Starship Pain, but Priest GOOZLES HIM!!! Choke-noooo, rollup from Morrison! 1..2..NO!!! Standing moonsault .Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Chop from Priest.

Kick from Morrison, Morrison tries for a springboard, but Priest catches him and slams him down face irst, then lifts him up for a sitout chokeslam and a pin for 1..2..3!!!

Winner: Damian Priest
When Morrison isnt trying for the overly-choreographed shit, hes not half bad.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 4:01

Sheamus attacks from behind!!!

BUT RICOCHET IS HERE TO ATTACK!!!

Springboard dropkick to Sheamus! Morrison in and Priest slams him down. Ricochet and Priest stand tall in the ring.

We are back with the Teddy Long Special!!


Match 6: Ricochet and Damian Priest vs John Morrison and Sheamus

Ric and Sheamus are going at it, with Ricohet hitting a high springboard crossbody. Ric hits the ropes, gets a punt kick, springboard dropkick sends Morrison off the apron. Springboard moonsault to Sheamus. Cover for 1..2NO!!! Crossbody to Sheamus, Morrison distracts on the apron, Sheamus shoves him off the apron. Miz wets the floor a bit, and Morrison sends Ricochet sliding into the steps, using the water for momentum. Morrison sends Ricochet into the ring and covers for 1..2NO!!! Tag to Sheamus, who comes in with the beatdown to the back of Ricochet. Elbows from Ricochet over and over again. Right hand, kick to Sheamus. Morriso gets a blind tag, but eats a German! Ricochet tags in Priest. Big move to Morrison, right to Sheamus, kick out of the corner, Morrison kicks, locks the head, but Priest lifts him up and swings him into a backbreaker! South of Heaven, as commentary calls the chokeslam, and a pin for 1..2..N!O!! Leg Lariat sends Sheamus into the ropes, then Priest clotheslines him over the top.

Ricohet with a moonsault to Sheamus! Cradle from Morrison to Priest. 1..2..NO!!! Priest with The Reckoning. Pin for 123!!!

Winners: Damian Priest and Ricochet
Push Ricochet
Total Rating: *3/4
Match Time: 3:43

Lashley is backstage, MVP is still hurting, Lashley says he will take on Goldberg just so his son can watch him annihilate him.

Omos is backstage, says Riddles scooter came first, Riddles spine comes next.

Riddle makes his entrance, then Omos. Riddle hops on his back before the match starts to try to get the upperhand, but Omos tosses him over his head then into the corner like nothing.


Match 7: Matt Riddle vs Edward James Omos

Riddle with a kick in the corner, again, tries for a third, but Omos with a GOOZLE!!! He shoves Riddle over the top rope to the outside then follows him outside. Omos grabs Riddle and sends Riddle into the timekeepers area. Ref starts counting, and Riddle struggles to get to the ring. He launches himself in at 9. Omos with aheadbutt, and Riddle is right back out, this time on the apron. Omos hits the ropes and shoulder tackles Riddle, launching him off the apron. Ref starts the count, and again, Riddle gets in at 9. Shoulder to Omos, Riddle flips over Omos, hits a knee, hits the ropes, antoher knee to Omos. Riddle ducks a clothesline, springboard knee to Omos! Clothesline from Omos!!!

Omos grabs Riddle by the arm, lifts him up by the head, hits the Khali Tree Slam. Cover for 1..23!!!

Winner: Omos
Riddle sold like hell for Omos, and looked pretty sick in doing so.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:32

Backstage, Alexa wants to talk about Jack the Ripper and The Zodiac Killer, but Piper attacks her! Eva goes in on Lily then leaves, and Lilystands back up.

As Kross waits in the ring, we get a square promo, where he talks of time being up for Keith Lee, and he, like sand in an hourglass, shall fall and pray.


Match 8: Karrion Kross vs Keith Lee

Lockup to start as the crowd chants NXT. Lee gets Kross into the corner. They break, and Kross stomps in the corner. Lockup and Kross hits an elbow to the head. Another elbow as Lee latches on for a bear hug. Kross ens Lee into the ropes, reversed, hits a tackle, another. A splash in th corner is thwarted, as Lee lands on the apron. Sends Kross inot the post head fisrt then dives over the top rope with a crossbody. Sick.

We are back, and Kross hits some strikes in the corner. Lee shoves him away. Kross locks the head, Lee escapes, misses a right, clothesline from Kross. Kross waits for Lee to stand in the corner, hits a shoulder from Lee, Kick from Lee. Lee is reeling, sends Kross inot the corner. Right hand, block from Lee, another, back elbow, headbutt from Lee. Splash in the corner. He chops the shit out of Krosss chest. Lee hits the ropes, HUGE tackle to Kross. Kross wants the Saito Suplex, but Lee stops it, hits an elbow to the head, Kross with a forearm from behind. Lee out on his knees. Korss with a sleeper. Lee is fading. Eyes still open. Lee with his fingers in between. He pulls backo n the arm.

Lee stands. He breaks the hold. Arm drag to Kross. Kross hops up. Lee catches him. SITOUT POWERBOMB! Cover for 1..23!!!

Winner: Keith Lee
The crowd was behind him, and so was I. Highlight of the night.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 9:27

Bakstage, Rhea is asked about Summerslam. Rhea says her match with Nia was brutal, but nowhere near as brutal as a No Holds Barred match (ask Nias busted face if thats true). She will be watching the match, tonight, and she hopes Nikki beats the hell out of Charlotte.

The 24/7 Champion is here, and I forget his name for a second. Hell be in action next, defending his title.


Match 8: 24/7 Championship Match
Reggie vs Akira Tozawa

Reggie is, most definitely, not wearing wrestling attire. Then again, Akira is still dressed like a ninja. Akira misses a kick, another, Reggie pretends to punch, then hits a real one. Reggie flips over the top rope, lands on the apron, back flips to escape a right hand. Reggie sits on the barricade, coaxing Akira into splashing himself onto the barricade. Reggie slides in then out of the ring, and Akira hits his face on the bottom rope. Reggie entes the rings, Akira hits an elbow. Whip to Reggie, who flips over Akira, is about to punch, but Akira screams STOP! He then activates NINJA POWER, only for Reggie to kip up and hit a back elbow.

Reggie then front flips his ass onto Akira in a cool spot and pins for 1..23!!!

Winner: Reggie

Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:02


Match 9: No Holds Barred
Nikki A.S.H. vs Charlotte

Nikki starts strong, but Charlotte cuts it short with a kick to the gut. Charlotte misses a splash, drops Nikki on her knee then into the corner. Charltote sends Nikki outside then yells at commentary while she removes tvs and shit from the table. She tosses them around as Nikki struggles near the steps. Charlotte attacks the back of Nikki. WE WANT TABLES chant, I think. Charlotte grabs a table, just as the crowd asks. Nikki drops behind Charlotte and sends her into the post. Nikki goes to attck, but Charlotte slaps her then shoves her face away. Charlotte grabs Nikki by the hair. She shoves Nikki again, sending her down hard, as Rhea watches backstage. Charlotte kicks Nikki, then chops her hard across the chest. Another chop. Mikki kicks Charlote, but Charlotte no sells and kicks her back hard. Charlotte with a toss over her head. Charlotte spears Nikki into the timekeepers area, and we go to commercial.

BACK, and Charlotte is seating Nikki up in the corner. There is a table set up in the corner adjacent to the girls. Nikki fights back with some rights on the top rope. She shoves Charlotte off, then flies with a crossbody. Charlotte moves, though, and Nikki falls face first. Shes back up, and Charlotte hits a big boot, covers for 1.2..NO!!!! Charlotte stops the pin. She jawjacks in the face of Nikki and looks towards the table. Charlotte with a Big Boot. Cover for 1.2NO!!! Charlotte lifts Nikki by the hair again. Charlotte rolls outide, heads under the ring, grabs a few chairs, tosses them aside, then grabs one, only for Nikki to kick it into her face. Nikki with a tornado DDT off the apron. Charlotte with a chop. Kick from Nikki. Charlotte slaps Nikki, dropping her, then lifting her and tossing her over the barricade. Nikki flies from the barricade, but Charlotte catches her. Nikki on her shoulders, Charlotte with a powerbomb to Nikki onto the announce table!!!

Chrlotte yells at Nikki that she is here because of Charlotte. She lifts Nikki up and drags her int othe ring. Nikki is dead. Rolls her into the ring. Charlotte drgs Nikki into the center of the ring. Charlotte steps on the chest of Nikki for a cover. 1..2.NO!!!! Running kick from Charlotte. Nikki is standing near the table. Charlotte wants a spear. Nikki moves. And Charlotte splits the table in half with her head! Cover for 1..2NO!!!!

Nikki grabs Charlottes head, drapes her over the 2nd rope, spins with a neckbreaker! Cover for 1..23!!!!

Winner: Nikki Cross
Not to say that this didnt help Nikki just a bit, but the continued ass-kicking that Nikki received pretty much the ENTIRE match did NOT do her any favors. Nikki got her ass handed to her the entre match, and Charlottes verbal barrage was just as effective. Commentary stressing how important the win was didnt really do much to help the situation either, as Nikki has been getting lucky over and over again for the past few months. Good idea, average execution.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 14:33

Nikki celebrates, holding the title high.

End Show

The 411
Good lord did that feel like forever? One week away from RAW was simply not enough to come back with some "I miss you" flowers, because this was a chore to get through. The main event had good fun, but Nikki still looked like a clown, with her win coming after a mistake from Charlotte, and not any actual skill or proof that she is better than, or even equal to Charlotte. Another bright spot was Lee getting a solid and effort win against Karrion, even if it hurt him in the process. Other than that, this show plodded on like Viscera on the way to the ring. From Drew McIntyre threatening to skewer an Indian man, to Miz squirting Priest over and over with a "drip stick," the show just wasn't good. To say it was bad would be insulting, but I will say that it just dragged on. There's very little cohesiveness or consistency with peoples actions or alignments, and there are no relatable wrestlers. The few that are relatable end up doing things that aren't exactly something "cool." Just another three hours that felt like seven. But hey, I saw Orange Cassidy last night!
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